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Calacas!


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Daniel Lara

I had a cute husband who could not only paint.
He was a jack of all trades and a lie this ain’t.
He’d not only draw, sculpt and make things online.
He could also program and code, and he was all mine.
Until one day he decided to use different media and started to mix.
And it got really ugly and impossible to fix.
So while working that final day in his artist frock,
the elements combined and he got an electric shock.

Mom

My mother was an amazing chef.
She was so good she was her own ref.
She was always in a cooking mood,
For she brought happiness to people with her food.
One day the water began to boil and into the pot she fell.
There was no one for her to scream to, grab onto or tell.
So over time with the tamales she began to cook.
And another chef wrapped her in a husk without a second look.
So her life ended there as a tamale, big and yummy.
And someone ate her up and she landed in his tummy.

Lisa and Aaron

Lisa and Aaron loved to read history and fiction.
They were so well-read they had perfect diction.
So happy with their books they would never frown.
But one day the bookworms came out and they’d drown
in all the words that they had read,
covered in bookworms, they were dead.

Wendy Pham

I once knew a woman who taught English AP
who was always working and saying “Why me?”
She corrected and corrected and read and read
Until one day they found her in the class dead.

Steven Dixon

Steven came from the land of the sheep.
But then met a girl and decided to leap
to a faraway land full of gangsters and cholos.
Because he looked Euro they though he was joto.
But as time went on their respect he gained
And over the years he received lots of fame.
Until one day La Migra decided to check
if he had a Green Card and that he wasn’t a wreck.
“Corre Corre!” his vato friends said.
But he couldn’t run fast and La Migra shot him dead.

The Young Speech Pathologist

There once was a girl who taught how to talk.
She talked and talked but could not stop.
So finally her tongue just fell out one day.
And that was the end to all she had to say.

Gary Gary Quite Contrary

He was an Engineer who did engineering stuff.
Watching him work, it looked very tough.
The planes he made went to outer space.
But he started going crazy, you could see it on his face.
One day he got overwhelmed as he built a huge plane.
And he died right there after going insane.

The Older Speech Pathologist

This woman was a Speech Pathologist all full-grown.
But at the end of her days she’d just be a bone.
For all that teaching and all that talk,
would finally cause her tongue to after-shock.

Ann and Bob

Husband and wife, they loved to collect art.
Not only cool and calm, they were really smart.
The house got fuller and fuller of all kinds of work.
They could no longer breathe, or move, or jerk.
So they were buried right there, stuck in their hall.
Inspired in their grave, amidst it all.

Alba

There once was a girl who was Mexican.
But La Migra believed she was American.
She was always taking care of kids who would bite
Cuz those children always believed that they were right.
And one day she was caring for a couple of babies
who bit her really hard and gave her rabies.

Jon

There was a successful man whose kids pulled on his brain.
Their pulling and tugging made him go insane.
But not only on his brain but his limbs, all four.
That he could not work and was left dead and poor.

Ginny

My sister was always running in a race
to run from all her problems, you could see it on her face.
Cuz everyone had issues that they would tell.
Until one day running, to her death she fell.

The Sailor Ivan

There was a sailor who was in the navy.
But one day he yelled “Help me! Save me!”
Cuz that dark night he fell from his boat
and he tried to swim, but couldn’t float.
And there was this huge, purple, ugly fish
who chewed on him and said “This Cuban’s delish!”

Alex and Meredith

There was this couple, very cool and smart.
They loved design, philosophy and all things art.
He was into media and she into paint.
But on that awful day Alex started to faint.
He then tripped on a brush
and fell on her “CRUSH!”
They both were instantly flattened and dead.
And their philosophy books were sadly no longer read.

Tom and Jill

Dancing in the library, Tom and Jill,
they stepped in paint and took a spill.
At once they both fell and the loft gave way.
They knew it was over and could no longer stay
on this verdent place we do call Earth.
So back they went to Mictlan where they were before birth.

Me

She was always up to something, could never sit and rest.
Everything she did, she said “This is the best!”
One October day she decided a party to throw.
And that’s when all her problems would begin to grow.
She got too hyperactive and her blood started to pop,
that her head would finally explode and into the cemetery lake she’d plop.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael could stretch you and pull you and crack your back.
He’d use all his force and never ever lack.
Then one night he cheered for his girls at the Derby
And that’s the moment everyone began to worry.
Cuz on that night he would get run down
by the Derby Dolls from some other town.
And all Angelenos started to cry and cry
because their favorite chiropractor said his last goodbye.

2 Responses to “Calacas!”


  1. Jessica Aguilar Says:

    I felt left out because I did not go, as I was at the playboy mansion…so here…

    There was once a shrink who loved to party
    And off she skipped to the playboy mansion to drink very hardy
    Because she was sick of all the problems she would hear
    She could not bear another one to deal
    Until one day the bunnies trapped her inside and her head exploded right on sight
    From not understanding one word they would say, too bad the blood got in the way
    And washed the paint off the bunnies bodies
    So the girls also melted away
    To leave Hef alone until the end of days.

  2. Jessica Aguilar Says:

    I revised mine and I decided to write more for the other family members who did not go…so they would not feel left out….

    me:

    There was once a shrink who loved to party

    And off she skipped to the playboy mansion to drink very hardy

    Because she was sick of all the problems she would hear

    She could not bear another one to deal

    Until one day the bunnies trapped her inside

    And her head exploded right on sight

    From not understanding one word they would say,

    Too bad the blood got in the way

    And washed the paint off the bunnies bodies

    So the girls also melted away

    To leave Hef alone with nothing to say,

    All by himself until his last day.

    Jim:

    There once was a man who was 6 foot 8

    He grew and grew no matter his fate

    He grew so tall, his head reached space

    Until a rocket ship hit his face.

    Jay

    There was a boy named Jay

    And baseball is what he played

    But he had a crazy family that came his way

    And all he wanted was to have them go away

    And when he tried to run and hide

    They surrounded him so much that he died.

    Laura G:

    She was a girl who loved to bake

    She baked and baked to make the best cupcake

    They tasted so yummy

    She would not stop eating them until they filled her tummy

    She wanted to make the biggest one yet

    But what happened was not what she had bet

    Instead the big cupcake became so big

    It fell on top of her and she was just a little twig

    There she went down on to the floor

    And with that she was no more.

    Laura A.

    There was a girl who always won.

    She always had a lot of fun,

    At every raffle, her name would be called

    Until the bingo ball hit her head

    And she spun and spun until she was dead.

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